I AM LIFE

I have witnessed souls that cannot survive passed their own limitations and sometimes that is me

I have witnessed dreams that reached high then fell and yes sometimes that was me

I have breathed in life
seen sunrises and sunsets
views of vast deserts
and on top of mountain treasures
stood still in awe
and walked too quickly from them

I have been young
and I have felt the bitter pill of age

I have felt frozen and been warmed again as winter knew spring and finally reached towards summer

I have cried and felt tears at midnight
waking me up from my own wailing sound

I have felt betrayal
yet stood up for the innocent
I have betrayed others
and felt the sting of my own guilt

I have come this far
and yet not gone far at all

I have experienced miracles
and I have slept right through them

I have praised the spectacular
felt overwhelmed by it
and felt numb
to the day at hand

I lived
yet at times
I’ve focused on death

I have knelt before my god
in worship
and I have refused to bow
and did not close my eyes
and yet
I did somehow
survive

I have been noticed
adored
ignored
made to feel beautiful
and then passed by

It has been brutal
and the disdain of it
has made me feel defensive
and sometimes angry

It has been brutal
yet the disdain of it
has caused me to feel softer
and more understanding

I’ve been reborn
and I’ve retreated
I’ve known silence
and too much noise
I’ve understood
and known my limitations
squandered all
yet embraced treasures

I am imprisoned by the concept
that all is well
regardless
I know
despite everything
that there is a broader side and perspective I am well within the cracks and on the smooth sidewalk

I have roared
and then retreated
felt belief in the strongest way
then fell back to questions
nothing is that clear
hopefully

I felt my grave
and yet I could not stop breathing
and would not succumb to endings
of anything
I am not dead
yet sometimes
I am not fully
alive

I have felt and breathed whispers
shouted so loud I lost my speech
I have been humbled
misplaced my mind
and found I’d never really lost it

I have sacrificed
felt the blood of giving in my soul
and I have most selfishly
held back

I have loved
brutally, honestly, seductively
and I have not
for the very same reasons
loved at all

I have hated blindly
known I could force revenge
wanted to take out all who opposed me
spewed venom
then humbly taken it all back

I have stroked the devil
bid that demon unto me
pinned his voice onto my breast
at times
and I have known gods
who helped me find the surface

I have fallen
ached
considered my life must end
and then standing inside a rainbow
felt the intrepid coach of love

I am life
I am alive